I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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