We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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