fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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