I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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