that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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