don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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