so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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