a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
