My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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