he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Randomize
