isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize