i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
