just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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