So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
