Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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