i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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