I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
