I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
