Im at strip club and am horny
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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