he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
