yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
