she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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