No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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