I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize