Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
