It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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