So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
