I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize