i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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