i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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