I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
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