I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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