just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think i have two assholes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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