did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
