Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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