He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
