Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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