Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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