Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
