Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
honey bunches of taint.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Randomize
