Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
