Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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