On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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