You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
