that's an acceptable place to lick
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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