i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
