drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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