Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
