Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize