so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I need to stop coming to work sober
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
