I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
