My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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