Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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