so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
