She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
