try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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