I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
