Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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