So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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