Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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