ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
