come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
