i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
