Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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