i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize